Movie Reviews

Directed by: Rob Zombie Written by: Rob Zombie Release Date: 4/11/03 Rating: R (strong sadistic violence/gore, sexuality and language)

House of 1000 Corpses is Rob Zombie's loving tribute to classic horror films, freakshows, and psychotic hillbillies. If you've ever seen a Rob Zombie music video, you should pretty much know what to expect.

The film opens on October 30, 1977, at a roadside freakshow museum owned by a guy named Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig). Four college-age kids are travelling across country, doing research for a book they plan on writing about roadside attractions. They're nearly out of gas, so they stop by Captain Spaulding's to fill up, and decide to enter his haunted house-type ride showcasing famous serial killers throughout history. The ride ends with the legend of Dr. Satan, a surgeon who was convinced that he could create a race of super-humans from the mentally disabled. The people captured and lynched Dr. Satan, but his body mysteriously disappeared the next day. The kids become obsessed with finding the lynch tree, and along the way they pick up a hitchhiker named Baby (Sheri Moon in her debut). Baby tells them she knows where the tree is, and promises to take them there in exchange for a ride home. However, en route to the tree, one of their tires is shot out (they think it's just a blow-out), and Baby mentions that her brother has a tow truck. She and Jerry (Chris Hardwick, of Shipmates and MTV's Singled Out) head to her house, which isn't far, while the others wait in the car for the tow truck to arrive. At the house, we are introduced to the other members of the family, including Otis (Bill Moseley). The guests are treated to dinner and a bizarre show, but when Baby starts hitting on Jerry, his girlfriend gets jealous, and Mother Firefly (Karen Black) kicks them out of the house. They get attacked by Otis and Tiny, and the carnage ensues.

Overall, I found this movie thoroughly entertaining. Rob Zombie pays tribute/rips-off classic horror movies, most notably Toby Hooper's classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the giallo filmmakers like Dario Argento, and also a dash of Quentin Tarantino (I'll never be able to listen to Brick House in the same light again ...). But if you have to borrow, at least he knew what to borrow from. The film is refreshing in that it doesn't have any of the gimmicks of modern horror movies; there are no superhuman monsters in this movie, no "rules" to follow, just the more genuine horror of the depravity of the human mind. Everything that happens in the movie, while at times a little far-fetched, could conceivably happen. Hell, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre practically did happen; it was based upon real-life serial killer Ed Gein, also the basis for Alfred Hitchcock's Norman Bates in Psycho. This movie isn't for everyone; it features loads of gore and the occasional naked (and mutilated) body. It's really a wonder that it didn't get an NC-17 rating, and makes you wonder what footage was cut to get the R rating ... If you're a classic horror movie fan, or a fan of cult movies, this will be a cinematic delight. Everyone else should stay away. Grade: B+

Bulletproof Monk is a movie that rips off a bunch of previous movies, blends them all together, and somhow, still manages to pull everything together into a cohesive, thoroughly entertaining movie. The film borrows stylistic and plot elements from films as diverse as Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Matrix, Highlander, and a touch of The Golden Child, yet manages to never feel completely like any of those movies.

It opens in Tibet in 1943, where a group of monks guard a scroll which has the power to change the world for good or bad, depending upon whose hands it rests in. Having fulfilled the three prophecies (defeating an army under soaring cranes, fighting for love in the Palace of Jade, and rescuing brothers he didn't know he had) a new monk (Chow Yun Fat) is entrusted with the fate of the scroll. However, just as the previous Protector is about to enjoy a well-deserved vacation, he is gunned down by a squad of Nazi Stormtroopers led by Strucker (Karel Roden, doing his best impersonation of Gary Oldman), who is determined to steal the scroll and abuse its powers. However, despite a bullet wound to the chest, the monk, and, consequently, the scroll, evade capture. The film then fast-forwards to NYC 2003, where we meet Kar (Sean William Scott), a charming pickpocket eking out a living the only way he knows how. The two meet up as Kar is fleeing the police, and the monk is evading mercenaries hired by Strucker to retrieve the scroll. In the course of the chase, a girl becomes trapped under the rail of an oncoming subway train, and Kar helps the monk save her. They part ways, but not before Kar swipes the scroll to make up for the loot he had to throw away. Almost immediately afterwards, however, he is ambushed by a couple of thugs who work for a small-time crime boss who goes by the name of Mr. Funktastic. Meanwhile, the monk makes his way back towards Kar to retreive the stolen scroll, and sees some signs that convince him that Kar may have the potential to be the new Protector. The two eventually team up, as the monk offers training and enlightenment to Kar (his only formal training comes from the kung fu movies he shows in the theater which doubles as his home), and Kar returns the favor by helping the monk evade the Nazi agents.

First time director Paul Hunter creates a movie from a script by Ethan Reiff & Cyrus Voris (Demon Knight) that is engaging from the start, if not entirely original. Chow Yun Fat and Sean William Scott have a chemistry rivaling, if not exceeding, that of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in Rush Hour. This could very well be the movie that both actors have been looking for: Scott has a chance to prove that he can actually act beyond the idiotic characters he's known for (Stiffler from American Pie, Chester from Dude, Where's My Car?), and Yun-Fat has a chance to break into the American mainstream (discounting his role as Master Li Mu Bai in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) with a role that displays both his acting prowess and his action skills. All in all, the movie itself is much like Kar: you don't go in expecting too much, but it has potential, and by the end, proves itself fully. Grade: A-