Unrequited
Her face is shining through the rain,
caressed by tender night;
pure love exuding from my heart,
as bright as purest white.
There's nothing I won't do for her,
I'll fill her every need;
for she makes me feel like roses
(though I'm really just a weed).
Gingerly I take her hand
the softest precious skin,
but to her it means nothing,
her love I'll never win.
I try to spend each day with her,
my heart her royal throne;
then, at least, within my dreams,
I'll never be alone.
Perhaps one day she'll realize
my love for her is pure;
for while we may only be friends,
we could be so much more.
June 1993
Pickle Sundae
I had a pickle sundae once,
and covered it with glue.
It stuck to the roof of my mouth,
like peanut butter do.
I brushed my teeth and went to bed,
and awoke the following day;
put on some clothes and rushed outside,
and gobbled up some hay.
July 1995
Tin Cans
Tin cans dragging along,
making an awful racket;
fifteen miles they sing their song,
until they reach their destination.
The signalling of their new life stops
as the couple leave the limo.
Through the threshold, onto the bed she drops
as they await their journey.
July 1995
Dating Advice
Chunks of rabbit on a plate
are not a good way to impress your date.
While it's true that women think rabbits are cute,
not so much so when garnished with fruit.
If you're considering this move, please think again;
why not try some Cornish Hen?
Poultry products are first-rate
when trying to impress your date.
July 1995
Georgie
Georgie Porgie Yancey-Guy,
shoved a pin into his eye.
Although that eye began to spew,
the end result was crystal blue.
He beat the girls off with a stick
because his feet were three yards thick.
He ran into a laundromat,
and in a dryer Georgie sat.
When he got out, he had to puke,
but the chicks still thought that he was cute.
July 1995
Land Mines
Driving along casually
on a dark stretch of road at night;
then suddenly, out of nowhere,
BOOM!
The car rocks violently
as the front right tire blows.
Like mines on a battlefield,
the manhole covers await their vehicular victims.
July 1995
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