Microbes
A world of microbes await your view
in a drop of water, icy blue.
They float around throughout the air,
blinked away after too long a stare.
They get in your blood and make you sick,
then phlegm builds up and you talk like a hick.
I don't like microbes, this much is true,
but a rhyme for platypus is too hard to do.
July 1995
Dog Hair
While walking I saw a curious thing:
a bag of hair tied up with string.
I brought it home and locked it up,
and in three short days it became a pup.
July 1995
Chia Tragedy
It was Christmas time once again
and I couldn't think of anything to buy for my friend.
Then it hit me
(quite literally because it fell off the shelf),
a Chia Pet!
"What a great gift!" I thought to myself.
"Everyone loves Chia Pets!"
So I wrapped it up and gave it to my friend.
I never heard from him again.
That's because, in my haste,
I had accidentally bought him the
Carnivorous Flesh-Eating Chia Pet.
The worse thing is that the darn thing cost me twenty bucks.
July 1995
Cute Little Fuzzy Squirrelly Thing
Happily, the cute little fuzzy squirrelly thing frolicked through the forest.
He loved to run up and down the trees.
He loved to eat nuts and stuff like that.
Unfortunately, he also loved to play Chicken with fast-moving automobiles.
To this day, he has caused fifty-seven traffic deaths.
July 1995
Skiing
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
and I have skis strapped to my feet.
But I won't hit them; the slope's not steep,
and this is just the primary heat.
I don't go far, about ten yards,
and gently come to a rest.
The bunny slope just ain't that hard;
I'm sure I've passed the test.
For this is just the primary heat.
I reached the bottom in three seconds flat
and I'm in second place.
The worst time? Four minutes, thirty-seven seconds, that;
for the klutz fell on his face.
And this is just the primary heat.
July 1995
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